Life has come a long way, since yesterday.

This is scary. Balls to bones. Must be similar to the cold-feet that people are said to develop before the wedding :) But I've done it. Finally.

Welcome home Laska! (And she blogs HERE!)

I have been wanting to bring you home. But aah the doubt! The anxiety! That from now on, you're going to be part of every one of my plans - small or big. Almost like I were a parent. Well, it is almost indeed.

Now Curry Leaves is intelligent, perceptive and honest. And knowing that she knows that I know that she loves me, I've to trust her advice more than I trust myself :). Thank you for the push pal.

And for any little room for doubt there was, Ziggy did a nice job of singing True to Myself.

Life just got sunnier!

And Though You Fight To Stay Alive

Remember the line from MJ's Thriller? And with it, the one hell-of-a-voice-over to remember - arguably Vincent Price's best??

I had plans for today. Funny how crazy alternatives pan out only on such days. I blame it on -

1. This talk with K at work in the coffee room that reminded me of the first ever thing that I wanted to become when I grew up - a voice-over artist! What with my voice being the least bent-out-of-shape thing about me :) That should also explain why Vincent's my God.
2. This could've happened on any day like today, except I have a cold. It makes me sound so very good inside my head like it does for Phoebe from F.R.I.E.N.D.S in that particular episode.
3. This other blog has a podcast for its latest post; something that I've for a while been wanting to try. (If you really have to read this other blog, I recommend about 5-6 posts starting about 10 older than the latest. The ones before and after are no match.)

And so, I decided to drop everything at hand that's important and record a little gig for my own amusement. But then, you'll hear me out, won't you?

Parental discretion advised!

And here's the ORIGINAL if you'd like to grade my work. :)

Of Incremental Compromises and Happiness

I for one, ain't the type who'd haggle over the arm-rests at a cinema. Several times that I've been (much to my amusement) judged submissive, while I know better as I don't take 'every little thing' as a judge of 'the whole big thing'. I truly believe that bile and bromide aren't the opposites of each other. Just two simple and very different things. And that neither of them describes me.

But then it comes! One super rare weekend with a lot fewer exciting things than usual and I feel like the monkey who's dropped one too many bananas. Does it really work that way? That incremental compromises add up into one grand sum to ruin your happiness in total? Naah... I just know that monkeys when hungry, have poor memory of all the trouble saved in not picking those bananas that'd have slipped anyways. They're happy in time for the next catch :).

And from what I know of them, they love listening to the guitar that goes with:

It’s a restless hungry feeling
That don’t mean no one no good
When ev’rything I’m a-sayin’
You can say it just as good.
You’re right from your side
I’m right from mine
We’re both just one too many mornings
An’ a thousand miles behind
- Bob Dylan, One too many mornings

My Books

My reading list.. and my personal rating.

16.Oct.2010	****	One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel García Márquez
24.Jul.2010	****	Purple Cow - Seth Godin
05.Jul.2010	****	Descent Into Chaos - Ahmed Rashid
13.Jun.2010	****	Behind the Cloud - Marc Benioff
27.May.2010	*****	Inspite of the Gods - Edward Luce
12.May.2010	**	The Museum of Innocence - Orhan Pamuk
20.Apr.2010	****	The Black Swan - Nicholas Nassim Taleb

My Songs

I've a weakness for songs that take me away, to distant happy places. Sometimes slow, sometimes full of energy! The words mostly have MY very own meanings :)

(18.Dec.2010) Four Seasons In One Day - Crowded House
(18.Dec.2010) Wicked Game - Chris Isaak
(03.Nov.2010) Jumper - Third Eye Blind
(26.Oct.2010) These Are The Days - Van Morrison
(27.Sep.2010) I'm too Sexy - Right Said Fred
(15.Sep.2010) Good Feeling, Won't You Stay With Me? - Violent Femmes
(11.Jul.2010) True to Myself - Ziggy Marley
(04.Jul.2010) Untitled - Interpol
(20.Jun.2010) Singing in the Rain - Gene Kelly
(16.Jun.2010) I Can See Clearly Now^## - Jimmy Cliff
## This one's a close contender :)
(15.Jun.2010) I'm the Hoochie Coochie Man^# - Muddy Waters
# This is my personal anthem!
(14.Jun.2010) Tell It As It Is - Aaron Neville
(13.Jun.2010) For Sentimental Reasons - Nat King Cole
(07.Jun.2010) One Too Many Mornings - Bob Dylan
(04.Jun.2010) Did You Ever Have to Finally Decide? - Lovin' Spoonful
(02.Jun.2010) Maria Maria - Carlos Santana
(25.May.2010) What a Wonderful World - Sam Cooke
(24.May.2010) For What It's Worth - Buffalo Springfield
(23.May.2010) Goodbye My Friend - Karla Bonoff
(21.May.2010) No Stress - Laurent Wolf
(17.May.2010) Nowhere to Go, Nowhere to Be - Kenny Chesney
(17.May.2010) That Lucky Old Sun - Kenny Chesney
(07.May.2010) The Weary Kind - Ryan Bingham
(28.Apr.2010) I've Got Sunshine - Otis Redding
(02.Apr.2010) I Gotta Feeling - Black Eyed Peas
(15.Feb.2010) If You'll Hold the Ladder - Robert Duvall

I.N.S.O.M.N.I.A

"It couldn't be better!" used to be my answer. Always. The slide from there to coffee spills on my shirts (even the not so fav ones!) evoking a "Can't anything go right, anymore?!" whimper has been painfully slow but certain and without respite. It is nearing a year now and worse since I am without a reason I can put my finger on. But then, mountaineer Boukreev says and I quote -

To cite a specific reason is to claim an omniscience only gods, drunks, politicians and abstract writers can make.

So, if the puzzle were for me to match cause and effect on the left with reasons and depressed insomnia on the right, I'd never be able to crack it. I guess every sailor's got to go under the weather once a while.

There's something in the quiet dignity of those scenes from the movies where if I'm sad, I'd be having my back to the world while there's some soulful guitar strumming in the background as I watch the ripples on the lake sitting on a park bench. That isn't the scene that's playing!

Then there's the hilarious-when-you-look-back if I were to spend days filled with gaffes. Like falling off bar stools, coming under the path-of-drop of bird poops, braying along a popular slow song until the neighbors knock or losing the wallet to a transvestite hooker... Get the idea? But nope, this isn't playing out that well or I'm not looking-back enough yet :p

Mine's more like that adventurer lost on an endless desert with vultures hovering above. Too many things in life demanding my best (okay, my most) and punishingly so. Like there's no escape. Even stopping for a moment's the same as giving up. Well, I'm staring to cut quite a sorry figure, ain't I? Then, let's get to what's changed, and quick!

Usually, if I were to be jolted out of a dream in which I'd almost convinced Katrina Kaif and Winona Ryder (yes, both!) that playing hard-to-get isn't what'd work best with me, I'd be mad as a rabid dog. But I guess I am not that when it is Led Zep singing

And a new day will dawn
For those who stand long
And the forests will
Echo with laughter

I'm not quite back to "It couldn't be better!" but from a "Can't anything go right, anymore?!", post one brief restless slumbering on a chair in the balcony, I've hopped back to a "It could be worse.". And now, zzzzzzz....

Love's like that.

Yes, the idea for the title's borrowed from RD's "Life's like that" column.

A pal tells me that having a personal blog and not writing about Love isn't done! Here's my attempt, the best I could make, hate it as you will :-)

From what I observe all around (shrewdly, if I may proudly add :p), Love's a little like those Tele-Shopping gigs.

The models are pretty,
The presenters are witty.

Things work until they're dry,
Right from the very first try.

You reach your happy ending,
Never having to need a mending.

So that makes it almost like putting the meat of your ego on a fancy light-weight, easy-clean, energy-saving, long-lasting, space-saving, environment-friendly, flavor-retaining, electric, garden, BBQ-grill!!! Yes, from the very same mail-order commercial :p. A golden-brown, crisp-shelled, juicy inside type of a sausage is only one of the superb variety of outcomes. All of `em very messy barring just the elusive one, which you'll realize as you tear your hair and yell, "THIS IS NOT WHAT I ORDERED!" :)). That makes you hate romantic movies, until such time when you admit to being a secret, inveterate fan ;-). Also makes you wonder why they won't make movies that are as messy and complicated as real-life, ain't it?

Fancy having caught exactly three such superbly well made dramas on love. All in the same month! I'd say give them a watch, sometime you can.

1. Playing by Heart - Eleven articulate people work through affairs of the heart.
2. Closer - If you believe in love at first sight, you never stop looking.
3. Little Children - Lives intersect as they struggle to resist their vulnerabilities and temptations.

Yes, yes, I should admit that I could just as well have said - "Watch these three brilliant movies to see love from different perspectives", in stead of the annoying opening paragraphs and a stupid poem. But do tell me...

how else could I have shown-off the rhymes?

What's getting warmer, again?

Global warming's something that I don't so much disagree with as much as I am skeptical about. Correlation's too weak to explain it all, if you ask me. Well, my skepticism can have a post of its own, but I can't make it read funny. So, this one's really about attributing a pattern to hypes. So you'll have your own guide to know when to run; right before the Shit hits the fan!

If I had to propose a theory, I'd say the stages progress like this -

At first, those dumb weeklies (or the center-spread tit-bits of tabloids) make a mention or two before the very last page.

Then, the kids in high-school forever looking for cooler things to add to their identities acquire card-carrying allegiances. Or is it more like signing up for groups on FB, these days?

Then, some politician incapable of effecting any change'll cover it in his speech to sound intelligent and global. (Do you really need examples, here? I bet just about anybody from the EU shall do!)

A little later, there's a James Bond movie with this new thing as its theme, (you're excused if you don't remember Quantum of Solace.)

And then, the next-rated action flick tries a me-too, (Yes, I'm guilty of watching Transporter III one lazy afternoon).

And finally, your next date mentions it, just to sound intelligent. (Feeling lazier than ever? Watch Dare to Date on Channel V, it IS hilarious!)

You really wish your Sunday magazines would lighten you up with nice cartoons but those aren't working for you. Your only option mid-air is a semi-respectable daily's literary section to encounter this dumbest interviewer ever! Read this -

"The Museum.. is a love story. When all around you, there is war, recession, poverty, and terrorism, not to mention climate change threatening the planet, how can you possibly sit down to write a love story?"

Gosh! If that sounds stupid enough, the author being questioned is the acclaimed Turkish novelist Orhan Pamuk!!! That can shake you off your seat and send you rolling on the floor laughing! Happened to me.

The point is, the nut-heads have successfully turned the problem on its head. From being our responsibility towards caring for the planet (And those who still think of it as such can't imagine the fight!) into a scarce-resource allocation problem on how much CO₂ can each nation emit until a certain date. Now argue all you want, this is a Cake Cutting Problem; and I'd say it with certainty that it will not find a solution anytime soon. A just solution isn't simply single-valued.

So if you ask me; I'd say, before someone turns that fan on... Run for cover!

THIS is what happened on Valentine's day..

This Valentine's day was different. I mean, REAL different. There was no year when any chocolates or flowers or heart-shaped balloons were exchanged, so that wasn't any different. But then, there were years where inflatable-sheep were received as gifts which weren't this year; so that's ONE difference. But that isn't what I'm talking about, but of all the special attention I got and you'll know where my blog gets its name from!

Mr. & Mrs. Tashan!
If you've ever seen a monkey play on a piano, tell him of me and he'll be shamed! And if it were a kid with his new toy, I'd shame him too around a piano! And to talk of a really incredibly expensive synthesizer and so very dear to you Tashan-bhai, and which you loaned me nevertheless while you break new ground oceans away... I'm so damn grateful! All because you care... "Thanks" is grossly insufficient! I am going to miss you two every one of those late evenings of mine that you've enriched! (Yeah, the same ones when my neighbors will be cursing.. )

Azeez dost mere..
So many firsts this Valentine run-up week, all thanks to you buddy! I mean.. THAAAAANKS! Do you even know how it feels when someone writes you a poem? Try multiplying that a zillion times over, when it not just for you, but on you!! That is one hell of a gift there!

Call yourself a grown-up all you want but I'll still want to pinch those cheeks! And try fighting your best with me but I bet you're still not going to get off my hook, ever! Comprende?

Dear Lotus, my name is Mud!
Even when it is only a witty joke and you know it too well, if an "I Love You" were the first ever thing you said to a total stranger, it still'd be something! And if that weren't good, try getting a "I Love YOU!" for a ready reply!! All because tomorrow's Valentine's? Heady!! A man's got to get his wiring checked real hard if that didn't feel a little too good for a minute on the least. Me? I felt good all day ;-). Thanks dear Lotus that you gave me that day before you broke to me your age! Your age sounds like an oxymoron! (and me? a plain moron.) I know.. I know.. you can drive, you can get drunk and you can elope if you wanted to. But just about! I blame YOU there...!! How could you be SO very smart, mature and write things about a sibling about as much younger to you as you are to me; and tag it as "parenting"!! When I signed up for your Waat Lagao, Sabki Bajao mission; you never told me that the joke's on me!

Meri toh bajj gayi!!

This one's for you Buddy Joey!!

The conversation on the phone...

Me: So how're YOU Joey!
Joey: umm...errr.. I don't know.
Me: I know.

Now Joey's the type who's got a head that throws out thoughts faster than what his vocal chords can handle.. The gesturing, groping for the right words type. But mostly it feels like we communicate perfectly alright!! (though hardly agreeing on everything.. but then, isn't disagreeing communicating?) When he says he doesn't know; he doesn't just not know.. but also doesn't know that he doesn't know.. and when I say "I know..", I also know that he doesn't know that he doesn't know...

I'm sure not drunk today, but heck I feel just as high. Exactly what I'd have asked for after a grueling day at work :-). Thanks for the little chat Joey!

So what if we make an utterly unintelligible exchange at times,

Joey: So how's work?
Me: You know how all of us look for something to blame for the lack of a personal life? My work fits exactly!!
Joey: And how's studies?
Me: Well, it's supposed to BE. And how's your work?
Joey: Well.. you know...
Me: Like what?
Joey: Err.. things are a.... little quiet..
Me: As in? What's everybody up to?
Joey: Err.. busy.. just busy doing something on something they don't usually like doing.
Me: Business as usual then!

Thank all sweet things for the Omnipresent Jack Daniel's! Mine's snug in the cabinet, while's yours's waiting! Go grab it!

Cheers Joey!!

Why Prince Charming Stayed Single...

My dad's a funny guy. After trying the nagging trick with me for a while, he moved to his famous quoting of "I'd be happy even if you married a lamp post!". And when that met with a guffaw, he just had to give up :-). And now that I've to face endless poking in the ribs by bed ridden grannies, arthritic aunts, retired uncles and the odd please-yous; he's even given in to a little sympathy towards me :-) Mostly for my patient hearing and my unbroken smirk!! So the exchange has lately changed to a very knowing, very understanding, very sympathetic, repeatedly enacted scene like this:

Dad (Raising of eye brows): -
Me (Smile + Side-ward movement of the head): -
Dad (Shoulder shrug): -


And then the channel on the TV flicks. Thank God for the interesting ads!!! For without them, the awkward air'd grow thick like the Knorr soup leftover in the bowl lying in the kitchen sink unwashed for 3 days. And'd stink worse!

But on my last visit, the big man had devised a little tactical questioning. Having asked me to join him on a walk, he dropped a line from no where and I had no idea how to react to it! "You know, when I was very young and whenever I'd be depressed and feel lonely; I'd lock myself in a room and dance my own thing to the music until I was all sweaty.". A full two minutes later, he knew I was still mulling my reaction so for the sake of everything we both hold very dear, he attempted a little more direct a question, "So what's your thing when you're depressed?" Wow, what a relief. I made the sheepish admission that I could make the fixtures in my car vibrate with my singing along with the radio! To quote William James, We do not sing because we are happy, we are happy because we sing. And for his amusement, I narrated the anecdote from last week when a girl in the car behind me got exasperated with the time it took to get my attention (and then my lane... :p) that the first thing she did after getting her way was to give me the finger! If dad's face had fingers, I would've seen him twiddling them all with impatience, he he. "What about anyone you might have.. you know, developed a liking for?". I had to remind him I wasn't beyond the particular human emotion we were both referring to (ahem.. relief!), and then again of the dog we had and how he chased his tail at times.... (ahem.. relief no more!) If he ever did catch it, he'd but look all silly on his own!! I couldn't quite make out what dad meant by his blank stare.. Only that it was definitely the moment when we turned back towards home :))

I imagine that must be the look if Bill Watterson had drawn the rest of the strip, where Calvin's dad mocks a story on "Why Prince Charming stayed single" to which his mom retorts: Prince WHAAAT?!

What'd I ever do without C&H!

Calvin: Well, it's a new year.

And I'd say the first 10 hours haven't been up to snuff.

Hobbes: Did you make any new year's resolutions?

Calvin: You bet! I resolved to quit hiding my feelings so much! From now on, the world's gonna know exactly what I think of it!

Hobbes: Yes, you've certainly been the model of self-restraint and under-statement up until now.

Calvin: Well, no more.

...

And I've also resolved not to put up with sarcastic tigers.

Hobbes: If I see any, I'll tell them!