What's getting warmer, again?

Global warming's something that I don't so much disagree with as much as I am skeptical about. Correlation's too weak to explain it all, if you ask me. Well, my skepticism can have a post of its own, but I can't make it read funny. So, this one's really about attributing a pattern to hypes. So you'll have your own guide to know when to run; right before the Shit hits the fan!

If I had to propose a theory, I'd say the stages progress like this -

At first, those dumb weeklies (or the center-spread tit-bits of tabloids) make a mention or two before the very last page.

Then, the kids in high-school forever looking for cooler things to add to their identities acquire card-carrying allegiances. Or is it more like signing up for groups on FB, these days?

Then, some politician incapable of effecting any change'll cover it in his speech to sound intelligent and global. (Do you really need examples, here? I bet just about anybody from the EU shall do!)

A little later, there's a James Bond movie with this new thing as its theme, (you're excused if you don't remember Quantum of Solace.)

And then, the next-rated action flick tries a me-too, (Yes, I'm guilty of watching Transporter III one lazy afternoon).

And finally, your next date mentions it, just to sound intelligent. (Feeling lazier than ever? Watch Dare to Date on Channel V, it IS hilarious!)

You really wish your Sunday magazines would lighten you up with nice cartoons but those aren't working for you. Your only option mid-air is a semi-respectable daily's literary section to encounter this dumbest interviewer ever! Read this -

"The Museum.. is a love story. When all around you, there is war, recession, poverty, and terrorism, not to mention climate change threatening the planet, how can you possibly sit down to write a love story?"

Gosh! If that sounds stupid enough, the author being questioned is the acclaimed Turkish novelist Orhan Pamuk!!! That can shake you off your seat and send you rolling on the floor laughing! Happened to me.

The point is, the nut-heads have successfully turned the problem on its head. From being our responsibility towards caring for the planet (And those who still think of it as such can't imagine the fight!) into a scarce-resource allocation problem on how much CO₂ can each nation emit until a certain date. Now argue all you want, this is a Cake Cutting Problem; and I'd say it with certainty that it will not find a solution anytime soon. A just solution isn't simply single-valued.

So if you ask me; I'd say, before someone turns that fan on... Run for cover!

THIS is what happened on Valentine's day..

This Valentine's day was different. I mean, REAL different. There was no year when any chocolates or flowers or heart-shaped balloons were exchanged, so that wasn't any different. But then, there were years where inflatable-sheep were received as gifts which weren't this year; so that's ONE difference. But that isn't what I'm talking about, but of all the special attention I got and you'll know where my blog gets its name from!

Mr. & Mrs. Tashan!
If you've ever seen a monkey play on a piano, tell him of me and he'll be shamed! And if it were a kid with his new toy, I'd shame him too around a piano! And to talk of a really incredibly expensive synthesizer and so very dear to you Tashan-bhai, and which you loaned me nevertheless while you break new ground oceans away... I'm so damn grateful! All because you care... "Thanks" is grossly insufficient! I am going to miss you two every one of those late evenings of mine that you've enriched! (Yeah, the same ones when my neighbors will be cursing.. )

Azeez dost mere..
So many firsts this Valentine run-up week, all thanks to you buddy! I mean.. THAAAAANKS! Do you even know how it feels when someone writes you a poem? Try multiplying that a zillion times over, when it not just for you, but on you!! That is one hell of a gift there!

Call yourself a grown-up all you want but I'll still want to pinch those cheeks! And try fighting your best with me but I bet you're still not going to get off my hook, ever! Comprende?

Dear Lotus, my name is Mud!
Even when it is only a witty joke and you know it too well, if an "I Love You" were the first ever thing you said to a total stranger, it still'd be something! And if that weren't good, try getting a "I Love YOU!" for a ready reply!! All because tomorrow's Valentine's? Heady!! A man's got to get his wiring checked real hard if that didn't feel a little too good for a minute on the least. Me? I felt good all day ;-). Thanks dear Lotus that you gave me that day before you broke to me your age! Your age sounds like an oxymoron! (and me? a plain moron.) I know.. I know.. you can drive, you can get drunk and you can elope if you wanted to. But just about! I blame YOU there...!! How could you be SO very smart, mature and write things about a sibling about as much younger to you as you are to me; and tag it as "parenting"!! When I signed up for your Waat Lagao, Sabki Bajao mission; you never told me that the joke's on me!

Meri toh bajj gayi!!