I.N.S.O.M.N.I.A

"It couldn't be better!" used to be my answer. Always. The slide from there to coffee spills on my shirts (even the not so fav ones!) evoking a "Can't anything go right, anymore?!" whimper has been painfully slow but certain and without respite. It is nearing a year now and worse since I am without a reason I can put my finger on. But then, mountaineer Boukreev says and I quote -

To cite a specific reason is to claim an omniscience only gods, drunks, politicians and abstract writers can make.

So, if the puzzle were for me to match cause and effect on the left with reasons and depressed insomnia on the right, I'd never be able to crack it. I guess every sailor's got to go under the weather once a while.

There's something in the quiet dignity of those scenes from the movies where if I'm sad, I'd be having my back to the world while there's some soulful guitar strumming in the background as I watch the ripples on the lake sitting on a park bench. That isn't the scene that's playing!

Then there's the hilarious-when-you-look-back if I were to spend days filled with gaffes. Like falling off bar stools, coming under the path-of-drop of bird poops, braying along a popular slow song until the neighbors knock or losing the wallet to a transvestite hooker... Get the idea? But nope, this isn't playing out that well or I'm not looking-back enough yet :p

Mine's more like that adventurer lost on an endless desert with vultures hovering above. Too many things in life demanding my best (okay, my most) and punishingly so. Like there's no escape. Even stopping for a moment's the same as giving up. Well, I'm staring to cut quite a sorry figure, ain't I? Then, let's get to what's changed, and quick!

Usually, if I were to be jolted out of a dream in which I'd almost convinced Katrina Kaif and Winona Ryder (yes, both!) that playing hard-to-get isn't what'd work best with me, I'd be mad as a rabid dog. But I guess I am not that when it is Led Zep singing

And a new day will dawn
For those who stand long
And the forests will
Echo with laughter

I'm not quite back to "It couldn't be better!" but from a "Can't anything go right, anymore?!", post one brief restless slumbering on a chair in the balcony, I've hopped back to a "It could be worse.". And now, zzzzzzz....